The theory explains the common complication in relationship building between autistic and nonautistic folks. Jane speaks to the double empathy problem, which suggests that people with different world experiences may find it difficult to empathize with one other. Jane says this lack of direct conversation can lead to assumptions about what the autistic person really meant and can also result in ruffled feathers due to frank responses being unexpected. However, autistic folks tend to be more direct and may experience more ease in social communication when that is reciprocated. This communication is commonplace for neurotypical folks, effectively making it an expected social skill. This is akin to the idea of subtext or reading between the lines - all ways of saying or implying something without actually saying it but expecting the other party to be on the same page. not realizing that others are disinterested in a subject they’re talking aboutĪn example of a recurring glitch in communication that mirrors a problemed social skill is the idea of indirect communication.finding it difficult to keep up with ongoing conversation or engaging in “small talk”.responding to someone calling their name or other verbal attempts to get their attention slowly or not at all.communication that uses both verbal and nonverbal cuesīecause autistic folks engage with the world around them in a way that’s different from nonautistic folks, conversation across divergences can prove challenging.Īccording to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIH), differences in communication may include:.the concept of socially accepted “manners”.back-and-forth conversation and “small talk”.Other examples of social interactions or skills that neurotypical folks tend to find commonplace include: In some cases, what’s considered a social norm in one country may go against social norms in a different country.Īn example of a social norm in the United States is that avoiding eye contact is often interpreted as evasive, nervous, odd, or “shifty.” As autistic folks often avoid eye contact, neurotypical people may interpret their behavior as going against the “norm.” Social norms are culturally bound - people from different cultures may have unique sets of norms. Social ‘norms’ and cuesĪ social norm generally refers to something that society or culture renders “normal.” Everyone is expected to automatically understand and adhere to these unwritten rules, and diverging from the “norm” may be considered “abnormal.” Often, things we see as social skills are neurotypical expectations or rules like making eye contact or making small talk,” they say. It’s that being autistic means we have a different way of socializing that needs to be understood and accommodated. “It’s not that being autistic affects our social skills. According to Jane, it was once thought that autistic folks lacked social skills, but they point to research showing that the social skills are just different. Sonny Jane, consultant and lived experience educator, speaks to previous understandings about autism and its effect on social skills.
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